stormy--'s Diaryland Diary

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The Day I went to Dunkin

I've always been a worrier. Growing up, my sister always used to say that I thought too much and over-analyzed everything. Then, when I became an adult who could express my thoughts and fears in a more coherent and rational manner, she often would say that I was too smart for my own good. She would say those things in a loving manner, even though they would often be shrouded with frustration, annoyance, and sometimes even anger. But, it's just who I am. I overthink and I worry. I don't know if that will ever change.

But, I was wrong worrying about my sister's visit this past weekend. I mean, she did have a million questions that I really didn't have answers to and she didn't like the fact that I didn't have answers for them. But, besides that, we had fun.

We couldn't do much outside of my house (because of everything going on in the world with this virus), but my sister did get me out of the house to do some grocery shopping because, according to her, "Having everything delivered just isn't good for you." So we went to two different grocery stores and even stopped at a craft store so I could stock up on some paints and other art stuff.

And, I have to admit my sister was probably right about it not being healthy for me to have everything delivered to my house. I couldn't believe how anxious I was going into those stores and I really couldn't pinpoint the reason why. So, I decided that I'm only going to have my groceries delivered only once a month - if that. Any other time I need something from the store, I need to personally get my butt out there.

But my sister and I had such a good time! We talked and laughed so much. We watched movies and ate pizza. We even took a trip to the Goodwill to donate some stuff I knew I was never going to use. And when she left I was really sad to see her go. The last time I saw her in person was at Christmas. I missed her. And I hate the fact that the next time I'll probably get to see her will be this Christmas. Because of work she said she doubted she'll be able to make it up to see me at Thanksgiving. The kid in me wanted to cry and pout at that. But the adult in me forced myself to simply nod and say, "I understand." But still... :(

So, with my new frame of mine, I dragged my tired body out of bed early today, pulled on some clothes, ran a brush through my hair, and went to Dunkin Donuts. Dunkin's isn't really my favorite but it was close. And, at 7am this morning I was all about stuff being close.

The drive thru line was so long that it looped around the plaza parking lot where it was located. There had to have been at least twenty cars in line in front of me. When I finally got to the order box, I ordered a hot tea and a maple creme stick. I think the cashier was surprised I didn't order something with pumpkin spice in it since it is officially the unofficial start of pumpkin spice season. But while I am a fanatic about all things pumpkin and will consume everything pumpkin that I can get my hands on during the last three months of the year, I'm not a coffee drinker. Now, if they could pumpkin spice up my hot tea I'd be all over it! Hmm.... I wonder if they can do that....

I parked off in a secluded corner of the plaza parking lot and watched the chaotic line at Dunkin while I sipped on my tea and munched some donut. I was halfway through both when the clouds seemed to open up and I was caught in a downpour. The rain came down so hard and heavy that I was glad I hadn't decided to drive home with my treats. It was still raining pretty hard when I was finished, so I just sat there for a while and listened to the rain. I tried to clear my mind and simply allowed myself to be as it rained. A feeling of peace and calm settled over me. It's kind of like the same feeling I get when I meditate. I love that feeling.

So, holding on to that peaceful and calm feeling, I came home. I got some work done, did two loads of laundry, and even balanced my checkbook! I hate balancing my checkbook. A numbers person I am not. I always put it off, so I was proud of myself that I finally - after three months of not doing it - got it done!

Now I'm really hungry and am thinking about what to make for dinner. I'm probably so hungry because I just realized I skipped lunch. But that's how I am. When I'm focused on something I forget about everything else and even what time it is.

So, I'm thinking about a large salad and some grilled chicken for dinner. Maybe as a added treat I'll have some applesauce. Looks like it's going to be an early dinner for me.

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2:41 p.m. - 2020-09-02

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